'As Gaude as it Gets':

Oxford Revisited

By James Murphy  

Picture an amalgam of Richard Curtis? romantic comedies, James Bond?s adventures and French art house cinema. That?s a fairly accurate summary of the ?Gaude? reunion at New College, Oxford. It?s a weekend of festivities for those who matriculated (commenced University study) in a select period. In this case, the focus was on 1995-1999, and I was among the lucky alumni invited back. Here?s a scene by scene breakdown of the event, for anyone who fancies a glimpse of life in Oxford.

Chapel. Evensong. 6pm.

The choral music is exquisite. Evensong here is a truly spiritual experience.

Getting into tuxedo / bow tie..

It?s difficult to fasten a bow tie. Luckily, Richard Mason is passing by, and fixes my bow. Richard wrote ?The Drowning People?, a novel whose moral motifs and character arcs haunt and entertain in equal measure. It?s fun chatting to him.

Champagne reception in the Quad.

The reception is glamorous (all present look good and are kitted out very stylishly). It?s classy (count the six figure salaries and ski holiday stories). And I meet graduates who are selflessly giving their talents to social work and state sector education / health. It?s the best of all possible worlds.

Dinner in Hall.

The hall?s walls are bookmarked with portraits of Wardens / College Masters down the centuries (New College is actually one of the oldest Oxford Colleges, which confuses many tourists!). The Fellows (senior academics) arrive at high table.

The food is fabulous and punctuated by port and coffee. Tables are divided according to subject. Mine was Theology, and I am its sole (or should that be soul?) representative. That said, the scientists are great company and Theology is arguably a science.

There are speeches from the Warden and Sub-Warden and one old member. Alas, no speech from the Bursar, David Palfreyman. He?s an expert on law and finance and gives invaluable pastoral and academic advice to countless students so he?d have made an interesting speaker.

The Party: Senior Common Room / Assorted College Locations.

I meet a statuesque psychologist called Tanya. Tanya has hypnotic eyes, a beguiling smile and a great line in banter. Tanya introduces me to Ingrid Oliver, an actress. You may have seen Ingrid in ?Peep Show? and ?Plus One?. She?s a bit like Arabella Weir. Ingrid joins Hugh Grant and Sally Phillips as stars whose comedic crafts were honed at New College.

I move further down the room and encounter Deena, who was one of the cleverest and most beautiful girls in Oxford ten years ago. And she still is, tonight. She looks like a blonde Emmanuelle Beart. I?d love to give her a hug. But I don?t.

I end up with a group of authorities on English literature. We move to another tutor?s room and he?s a great host. An expert on Isaac Newton, the host gives me an impromptu tutorial, while providing generous helpings of alcohol to everyone present.

We also chat about pulp heroes and their connections with the College. James Bond and Simon Templar?s exploits have both been filmed here, notably 1997?s ?The Saint? and ?Tomorrow Never Dies?, with Templar stealing a cold fusion formula and Bond ?just brushing up on a little Danish?.

I look at my watch. Definitely time to go. I thank the host for his hospitality and walk into the Oxford dawn, back towards my room. I bump into the Porter en route. He remembers me from years back. ?You were very serious then, James.? He?s quite right. But I?ve learned to take things less seriously now, as I finally fall into bed at 4 am.

Epilogue: Garden Party, next day

Professor Alan Ryan gives a speech in the Chapel. The theme is the future of education. He hints at radical reformation (?The California master plan?), whilst stepping back to survey the past and present nature of Oxford. It?s fascinating stuff, coming from a respected philosopher.

With the speeches done, it?s time for Champagne on the lawn and lunch in the Marquee. I?m sat with my parents and assorted old members, including Lord Congleton. I also meet a brilliant film maker, Lucy Fyson. Lucy has film star looks, crowned by curly hair. Lucy?s a field documentarian, as comfortable filming in war zones as sipping champagne on an Oxford lawn.

After the strawberries, cream and tea, it?s time to go. It?s been a wonderful weekend. Special thanks to the organisers of the events, their assistants, the Porters, the dining and garden staff, Choir, Warden and Fellows and all old members of New College. I?m looking forward to the next reunion already.